Wednesday, November 9, 2011

By a thread.....

Am I the only one who feels like they are hanging on by a thread?  This past month has been an overwhelming whirlwind.  I got sick.  We sold our house and bought a new house.  I was still sick.  Pat left for a business trip for an entire week leaving me home with a very mobile baby and a house to pack.  The week before we moved I got really sick with the stomach flu.  We shipped our baby off to grandparents in an effort to finally pack up our house.  And then we moved.  And I got sick again.

I am generally a pretty happy person...optimistic.  Happy.  But lately, I just feel like I keep getting knocked down again and again.  I am pretty frustrated about not being healthy and I think that is altering my attitude about everything else.  I have been tired, run down, exhausted.  Which in turn makes me a failing wife, mother and friend.  Our house is a disaster with boxes everywhere and by the time I get Lucy to bed, I am ready for bed myself.  Pat has been good about picking up the slack...but I feel like I am useless.

What a downer post so far huh?  I guess I just feel like maybe if I put it all out there...I can start to move on.  I can remember that I truly have so much to be grateful for.  I have been praying a lot lately for healing and happiness.  My faith reminds me that this season will pass and life will calm down again.  But my human heart keeps me doubting.

I feel like suddenly my life is no longer my own.  I know...this is silly and whiny and pouty.   Yes, I have a wonderful husband, beautiful daughter and a new home.  And yet....where do I fit into that equation?  I feel like suddenly I am no fun anymore.  I am just barely fulfilling my roles as wife and mom.  I get the baby to daycare each day, go to work, come home and make dinner, wash bottles, feed the baby, give her a bath while Pat cleans up our mess, put her to bed, pack her food for the next day, unpack the house and fall into bed and kiss Pat goodnight.  I know I signed up for this.  And I know that I want all these things.  I just am having trouble finding the joy in it. 

There are so many things I would love to do.  I want to learn how to sew.  I want to sit down and read a book on a rainy afternoon in peace and quite.  I want to become more crafty. I want to learn how to can tomatoes and make freezer jam (a bit late in the season, granted), I want to find 5 minutes to paint my nails.

And now I just have a list of "I wants".  Which sounds selfish.  Maybe God is teaching me a lesson in serving others.

So, I'm not a mom who has it all together.  But I will continue to have faith, and to trust in the One bigger than me.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Lucy 9 month photos sneak peak

Here are just a few of the super cute pics we had taken last can't wait to see the rest! :)

 Thanks for always bringing us so much joy my sweet little girl! :)

Thursday, August 4, 2011

On the move....

So I have been taking pictures of Lucy in the same chair each month since she was born.  Here is a look back at my tiny one month old baby.

See how tiny and cute she was?!?  And how I placed her right in the corner and she stayed put for mama to take pictures like a good girl!

So recently....I tried to take Lucy's 7 month pictures.  Let's just say I was exhausted and sweating by the time we were done!

 She would immediately flip around the second I tried to set her in the corner.

 Standing up and laughing hysterically!

  Sure, I will crawl right off the chair!

 ...."Nobody puts baby in a corner!" was just begging me to!

Fine, fine...One quick pose....

...and I'm outta here!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

"I heard," said the bird, "that there's a new one coming!"

So ever since becoming pregnant and having Lucy I live in fear monthly that I am pregnant again.  Yes, I want another baby (perhaps more even!) but just not quite yet.  Don't get me wrong, a baby is a blessing...I know!  But I currently have a baby that has recently started waking up for 2-hour stretches in the middle of the night. 

It's pretty awesome. 

So to introduce a new child would be a bit overwhelming to say the least.  So, each month if I feel odd one day, crave chocolate, feel tired, smell a funny smell, or whatever....I think, "Ohmygosh-what-if-I-am-pregnant-what-am-I-going-to-do!!!!!"  And then....inevitably....I am not pregnant.  Whew.  It's exhausting, really.

So, last Friday, I was having one of those days.  I was very much looking forward to the weekend and drinking a few beers and NOT being pregnant (for now!).  On my drive home after picking up Lucy I always swing by the mailbox and get the mail.  In the mailbox I found I had something addressed to me from an unknown sender.  I racked my brain for possiblities in the 30 seconds it takes to reach my driveway and then as soon as I parked I ripped into it.

It was a cute homemade card and on the front it said, "I heard," said the bird, "that there's a new one coming!"

Oh my gosh!  Someone, somewhere KNOWS I am pregnant and they are sending me a card congratulating me!  How on Earth is this possible???  Is this a sign?  Am I really pregnant?  I mean, I must be since I'm getting a card about it right??? 

And then I opened the card and realized it was a baby shower invitation (of course!) for a friend of mine.

And that night, I drank an extra beer to celebrate!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Strawberry Bruschetta

Well...summer is finally here!  We spent last weekend at the lake house and I made sure to fully enjoy the warm weather and hot sun after spending so many days indoors this past winter with a newborn.  And now that summer is here, I am LOVING it!  I might love it a bit more if I actually fit into any of my old summer clothes but apparently I had a baby and they say when that happens your hips (meaning butt) gets wider!  Sooo.....guess I have to go shopping for more clothes....oh darn!

Foods like this may or may not contribute to the widening effect, but it's delicious and I just don't care!  The original recipe call for goat cheese which I am sure would be wonderful, however my husband can't stand the stuff so I decided to swap it out for spreadable brie cheese. was a GOOD swap!

Strawberry Bruschetta

1 French Baguette, sliced diagonally, about 1/2 inch thick
1 cup fresh strawberries, diced
1/2 tablespoon raw organic sugar
4 ounces spreadable brie
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
2 teaspoons good balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup fresh basil leaves, torn

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Combine strawberries, sugar and balsamic and some of the basil in a bowl and set aside.  Place the sliced bread on a baking sheet and drizzle a bit of olive oil on each slice.  Bake in oven until tops are golden, about 10 minutes or so, but keep a close eye.  Remove bread and let cool slightly before spreading the brie cheese on.  Then scoop the berry mixture on top of each slice.  Add a few more pieces of fresh basil to each and then gobble up immediately!  These are delish!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Baby proofing

This little girl who was once so tiny....
 And recently started sitting up like a champ....well, ok a weeble-wobble champ, but still....

Has started heaving her body across the floor and I am pretty sure will be crawling by next week! 

She can quickly turn in circles when she hears noises or wants to see something.  She is also very good at watching me walk out of a room and the split second she loses sight of me she lets out a ferocious cry.  The doctor's office called it "separation anxiety".  I call it "not being able to get anything done".

I guess we better break out the ole outlet plugs this weekend huh? 

When did she start growing up so fast???  I love it and I hate it all at once.  I love that she is growing and changing and it's so fun to watch her learn new things but seriously, one minute she is mastering sitting and the next she will be leaving me to go to college.  Ah, such is life I guess.  Just don't grow too quickly baby....mama will miss your snuggles so much!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Reflections on Motherhood

I saw this great video on one of the other mom blogs I read and LOVED it! (I'm not sure I posted the video right, so I included the link as well.) And while I was fighting back tears the entire time I watched (and the subsequent 345 times I had to watch it again and again) I kept wondering what would I tell myself.

I can think of both a million things...and then also nothing.  Because would I really listen to what I had to say.  I remember in those first weeks home with Lucy I kept saying "Why doesn't anyone tell you how HARD this is?"  But now I understand.  Because, until you are "in it" you can't even begin to comprehend what it is like, good and bad.

I'm not sure there is an exact way to articulate just how utterly exhausted you will be and realize there is simply nothing you can do about it.  Your baby will keep crying and crying no matter what you try.  You will have puke that shot out an alarming distance from your tiny newborn that is now covering your clothes.  Your breasts will become engorged the day you come home from the hospital and that first night home you will find yourself sitting there while both your mom AND your husband try to manually (read: painfully) squeeze the milk from boobs.  And you will not find this experience weird in any way at just want sweet relief!  Your breasts will then subsequently leak, everywhere.

Your tiny, beautiful, delicate daughter will load her diaper like an experienced grown man.  You will clean her (and yourself) over and over again until you make the realization that she isn't that covered in spit up.  That the tiny amount of poop that got on her onesie won't technically touch her skin so it's probably ok if she still wears it....I mean you did rub the spot pretty good.

You will worry that you are going to give your daughter pink eye because you can't remember the last time you washed your hands after changing her massive blow-out.

But, you will also lay in your bed with your tiny baby and do skin-to-skin time with her and feel like your heart is going to explode with love for this little being.  And that love will only continue to grow.  And grow.  And grow.  You will be amazed that her tiny, perfect little body was inside you only days, hours, moments ago.

You will worry more than you ever thought possible.  You will pray for your tiny baby when she is healthy and for when she isn't.  You will then pray for all the babies in world as you now truly understand just how much of a miracle they are.

You will understand the phrase that your mom used over and over again.  "She is pure love"  For all babies, everywhere, are simply that.  Pure Love.

You will be both joyful and terrified the first time she sleeps through the night.  And every night after that.

And for every story you hear of a tiny baby passing away, getting sick, or being born early you will squeeze you baby even tighter that night before she goes to sleep.

You fill find there is nothing better than having your baby fall asleep on your chest in the evening.  And no matter how many times your husband says you can put her to bed, you don't move a muscle because she is almost part of you again.  And then you realized that even though the cord has been cut, she will always be a part of you.

 You will get slightly irritated every time someone mentions your daughter and says she looks like your husband.  Yes, she spent 10 months inside you and yes, you did all the "heavy lifting" but keep in mind that yes, she does look like you too.  Just look at her eyes! She is a part of you!

For every task your daughter accomplishes, you will find it the most amazing, the most fascinating, the most wonderful thing ever.  You will marvel at what a little person she is, even as a baby.

But for all the tips and hints and pieces of advise I guess I would just tell myself this:
Love your baby....and everything else will fall into place!

Friday, May 20, 2011


I have been reading a lot of "confession" types of blog posts lately and I thought, why not join em!

So here no particular order....

-While this was originally supposed to be a food blog...I find myself too in love with my baby to blog about much else.  I still love to cook...but I love my baby much more!

-I fell in love slowly with Lucy.  I still look back on it with a bit of confusion.  When they put her in my arms I didn't have that overwhelming "LOVE" feeling everyone talks about.  Don't get me wrong, I loved her for sure.  But it just took me some time to fall deeper and deeper in love with her. And now...I would quite simply be lost without her.

-I also fell more in love with my mom after having a baby.  While those words are not said often enough....I find my mom, now more than ever, to be one of the most incredible women I know.  And, she's funny too!

-I still feel huge disappointment in myself that I was unable to nurse Lucy.  I know everything worked out the way it should, but I hear women talk about nursing their babies and I get a deep pang in my heart.  Oh well.....

-And yet, at the same time I am secretly glad it did not work out as I was able to get a small amount of relief from the hubby when he helped with a night feeding.

-I had NO idea how hard the first 8 weeks of bringing home a baby would be.  Lucy was a calm, mellow baby in my womb...and the exact opposite out in the world.  But our sweet gal has calmed down and, with sleep, this mama can handle so much more now!

-I always wanted a boy and a girl and now after having Lucy, well I just want more girls!

-I also always said, "Two kids and I'm out!" ....and now....well, let's just say I am happy to leave the door WIDE open for more :)  Pat is not as on board with this as I am....

-While I am a terrible food blogger, I could read food blogs all day long.

-A new marriage, a new baby, and only 40 minutes of sleep a night can make for rough waters at times. 

-When I read other people's blogs I find while most times I just simply enjoy reading them (i.e. stalking them) there are times that it just leads to pure jealousy.  Sometimes I end up wanting what other people have and get a bit pouty.  I really dislike that side of myself.  And then remember that my life is pretty darn great and I need to appreciate what I do have.

-Sometimes I play with the idea of running a mini-marathon.  This is often before I run each night....that thought never crosses my mind while I am actually running!

-I have found that I really, REALLY like to be the one in control of certain situations.

-I have a cocktail just about every day.  Normally an ice cold beer, but sometimes a glass wine is so lovely too!

-I tend to watch a lot of tv which makes my husband crazy.  Mostly it's stuff I taped on my DVR since weeknights are a bit hectic.  Hey-I like my shows!

-I have about a billion receipts in my purse that I have yet to deduct from my account.  Pat would never be ok with this sort of thing.  This is exactly why Pat and I have separate checking accounts! And a much happier marriage as a result!

-During the winter months or on really windy days I totally wish they still offered "full service" options at gas stations.  I would TOTALLY be willing to pay a bit extra to not have to get out of my car in the freezing cold to pump gas.  A task I could totally do without!

-And finally....I truly realize that I am blessed beyond belief to have such an amazing, sweet, wonderful, lovable, pistol of a baby girl, a great husband, dog, family and friends!

Sittin' Pretty

Guess what cutie baby is starting to sit up by herself?!?  Yes, Miss Lucy was working on mastering her sitting skills the other night and I snapped a few quick picture.  Mind you this was nearly 9pm at night and she did NOT want to go to bed just yet. 

Anyways she did a great job!  She weebbled and wobbled all over the place and while she did fall over she did manage to catch and correct herself a few times too.

And, we are pretty sure she is about a month away from crawling.  Every time I put her on the floor she immediately flips herself over to her belly and starts flailing her arms and legs everywhere.  She wants to be on the move sooo bad!

Pat and I just shake our heads in amazement that our baby is growing up so fast.  Slow down baby!!
Just a little help from mom....

And now all on my own!

Moms cell phone is pretty cool!!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Food and Exercise

So Pat and I have been trying to make an effort to eat healthier and I have been really trying to incorporate time in my schedule to work out.  It is hard because I don't get home until 5:30 each night and once home I have to wash bottles, start dinner, feed and let the dog out, and PRAY that Lucy stays asleep in her car seat (as she falls asleep almost every night on the short 5 minute drive home from the sitters)  so I can get stuff done.

Weeknights tend to be a blur of activity, chores playing with Lucy so I wasn't sure how I was ever going to find time...or let's be honest, the energy to work out.  One of my friends told me about Jillian Michael's new Ripped in 30 dvd and so I gave it a try.  The work-outs are quick and only last roughly 30 minutes which is nice.  They are tough but the 30 minutes flies by!  Hopefully I can get this body back in shape as summer is quickly approaching!

 As part of our effort to eat a bit healthier too I made this awesome recipe last night.  It was SOOO good!  I made some couscous to go with it as well as some kale chips, which were delish, and so good for you! I didn't take any pictures as I totally forgot, but here is the link to the recipe I followed for the fish.  I followed it exactly except I used tilapia instead of cod which is just what I happened to have at home.

Panko-Crusted Cod

The Washington Post, January 14, 2009
  • Course: Main Course
  • Features: Fast, Healthy, Kid-Friendly


Panko, or Japanese-style breading, goes a long way in low-fat recipes that re-create the crunch of fried, breaded fish. Here, lemon zest and parsley boost the panko punch. Instead of dipping the fish first in egg and flour, slathering mustard on each fillet provides enough sticking power to keep the fish coated and moist inside.
The fillets are baked and then run under the broiler for a final crisping.
To bring even more flavor to the dish, the finished fillets are served on a plate moistened with lemon juice. With the juice beneath the fish, their coating stays crisp.
If you can afford a few extra calories, drizzle a teaspoon of extra-virgin olive oil on the plates with the lemon juice. That little bit of "good" oil will boost the flavor even more.
Cod is the traditional fish choice here, but any firm, white-fleshed fish would work. Serve with steamed broccoli.
4 servings


  • 1 cup panko (Japanese-style bread crumbs)
  • Freshly grated zest of 1 medium lemon (about 1 1/2 teaspoons)
  • 1 tablespoon finely chopped flat-leaf parsley
  • 4 4- to 6-ounce skinless cod fillets, preferably at least 1 inch thick (may substitute any firm, white-fleshed fish fillets)
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt, or to taste
  • 3 tablespoons Dijon-style mustard, or more to taste
  • Nonstick cooking oil spray, for coating the crumb topping
  • Juice of 2 large lemons (about 4 tablespoons), for garnish


Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Use aluminum foil to line the bottom of a baking dish or rimmed baking sheet large enough to hold the fish fillets in a single layer.
Combine the panko, lemon zest and parsley in a shallow baking dish; mix well.
Use paper towels to pat the fillets dry. Place them skinned (darker) side down on the lined baking dish or sheet, then sprinkle lightly with salt.
Use the mustard to evenly coat the tops of the fillets.
Working with one fillet at a time, invert each one onto the panko mixture, pushing down gently so the crumbs adhere to the mustard coating. Return the fillet to the baking dish or sheet and repeat with the remaining fillets. Use nonstick cooking oil spray to lightly coat the fillets' crumb topping.
Bake for about 12 minutes, until the fish is cooked through (based on a guideline of 10 to 12 minutes' cooking per inch of thickness). Transfer to the stove top (off the heat) while you preheat the broiler.
Position the top oven rack 4 to 6 inches from the top broiling element; preheat the broiler.
Broil the fillets for 1 to 2 minutes, just to brown the crumb topping.
Meanwhile, spoon about 1 tablespoon of lemon juice across each individual plate, then lay a fillet on top of each portion. Serve immediately.

Kale Chips

1 bunch of kale, stems discarded and leaves torn
2 tbs olive oil
Sea Salt

1.  Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2.  Put foil on a baking sheet and then toss together the kale pieces with the olive oil, make sure each leaf is coated.  Sprinkle sea salt on top and bake for 12-15 minutes, or until very lightly browned and crispy.
3.  Gobble up like potato chips, only without the guilt!

Last Bite:  Very quick and easy to make, and SO good!  I will probably make this once a week!